So many changes, so little time! I remember when Zoelie was born, just staring at her glorious little self with total amazement, but with an impatience and a dream of watching her grow. I couldn’t wait until she could sit, could say her first word, could walk. I wondered what her hair would be like, if her eyes would stay blue, and what she would sound like. It seemed so slow at the time, learning to be a mom was an adjustment – it still is and I’m still learning.
So someone please solve the mystery…. why is it when baby 3 comes along, time seems to fly and yesterday is only a faint memory? I can barely remember Zoelie as a baby. I can barely remember Allister as a baby. Just the other day I came across a video of Allister scooting across the floor.. just like Penny is now doing. They are about the same age, the same size, and yet right now my almost 2.5 year old Allibug is upstairs playing pretend with dress up clothes and dolls with her big sister, using her imagination and celebrating a pretend birthday for her favorite stuffed leopard.
A message to my kids… PLEASE SLOW DOWN.
I wrestle with being far too busy to pause and enjoy every little second. The moments that I do, when I stop to kiss my sleeping Zoelie on the head and smell her pretty brown hair and hear her sigh contentedly in her sleep.. somehow those memories don’t fully remain in my mind. I know I did them. I know I enjoyed them. They are just very hard to recall. I don’t want to forget. I want to freeze these precious years in time, the ones where they want to snuggle up on the couch with me with some popcorn and Wreck it Ralph, and no one has hurt them and every day is filled with learning new things and total wonder.
Today I will pause and write down some things that I want to remember forever.
Zozo – She is 5 and navigating her first year of kindergarten. She is SO proud when she comes home from school and loudly announces that she was on green today and got a Jungle Berry (a little prize for being extra helpful at school). She is also headstrong, strong willed, insatiably curious and SO creative. She is constantly making “cards” and “envelopes” with drawings and the words “I love mom and dad” and “zoelie joy” and doodles of her little sisters colored brightly with little bows and big eyelashes. She wants to be a tattoo artist like her daddy when she grows up, but to quote her, “I want to be a bald-skin girl tattoo artist.” She doesn’t want any tattoos at all. She cracks me up! Her hair is golden brown, bleached by the sun, and her eyes are a unique shade of green filled with sparkles. She’s a little goofy, loves to tell jokes that she made up herself and be silly, but is very sensitive and empathetic – she cares about those that no one else cares enough about and would be the first to share with someone who didn’t have anything.
Allister – Copies everything her big sister does. She finally started talking and now she won’t shut up. Her voice is dainty and adorable but she is fearless and is totally her own person. She chooses superheroes over princesses and loves Thomas the Train. She loves to wear her baby dolls, and I’m constantly cleaning soap off of the bathroom mirror and footprints off of the counter tops. We have to deadbolt the front door otherwise she will sneak outside and give me a heart attack. She snuggles the most out of all of the girls and when she sleeps, she turns into this precious little angel with the longest eyelashes known to mankind. She dances like a rockstar and would turn into a permanent bathtub mermaid if I would let her.
PennyPie – Is miss roly poly puddin’ pie. She looks just like her daddy and is happy.. all of the time! She is scooting around and doing the worm, and she just had her first two teeth pop through on the bottom. She’s a nursing pro, and is starting to experience a little bit of separation anxiety, but I’m okay with that because she smells like sweet baby and will take her little dimpled hand and gently touch my cheek. Her feet are so ticklish and she will give you a belly laugh if you kiss her little toes. She is balding and her brown hair is being replaced by blonde. She watches her big sisters as if her eyes are magnetic, and they love her just as much as she loves them.
I don’t ever want to take these moments, these precious times for granted. This is my life and sometimes I can’t even believe it. Thank you God for how you have blessed me.