2 + 1 = 5?

When Logan and I met I had just turned 26 and he wasn’t even half way to 23. Not only was there damn near four years between us, there was two completely different lives lived.  Mostly the fact that I brought with me another person. A 4 year old little girl.

I married Riley’s father way too young and for all the wrong reasons. I have to give huge props to anyone who gets married to someone before they are legally allowed to consume alcohol. Marriage is extremely hard work and trying to focus on that and growing up was just something that did not work out for us. To make a very long story short I decided I had lost enough of myself in a shitty relationship and asked for a divorce after almost 6 years of marriage. Now the greatest part of that said marriage was Peyton and Riley. Riley is my daily reminder to keep going and never stop fighting. It was a really rough first year after we got separated. I was basically living with whoever would have us because neither one of us ever wanted to go “home”. Our lives changed drastically in that year. I was becoming stronger.

Having a child with someone ties you to that person for eternity. Whether you like it or not. When it comes time to begin a new relationship with someone else they have to deal with all that bullshit too. I was really conscious on how I would handle my relationship with Logan. There was a few reasons behind that but the biggest two were A.) his age and B.) the fact that from the moment I met him I knew my life was changed. I wanted this to turn into something real but was afraid of the fact that it might. It wasn’t just about me. It was about Riley too. I was in a relationship before Logan and Riley became very attached to his family (which she still very much is apart of their life also). So I slowly brought Riley into our new friendship. We would go to the movies about once a week with her to shows we all would enjoy.  We would actually turn it into a game… I picked my choice (The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) and he picked his (Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull) than she would chose which one she thought was the best. Once she chose Indiana Jones I knew she was falling in love with him at the same time I was. Some people may think I am crazy but I got Riley’s approval before Logan and I decided to be “boyfriend and girlfriend”. It was of the upmost importance to me that she was ready to have a new guy in her life too. Logan loved Riley right from the start so I was fortunate that our transition was pretty easy. He understood that in order for us to spend time together it would include her 99% of the time. Not only did he accept it but he loved it. So after three months of developing a wonderful friendship by spending lots of time together we took that next step.

Before we even passed our one month anniversary of official coupledom we received the surprise of our lives… a positive pregnancy test. The entire dynamic of our relationship was about to change. I was a little afraid of how Riley would adjust to this news. She had just turned 5 and was getting ready to start kindergarten. There was a lot of changes happening for such a young girl. She was super stoked to hear that she would have a baby to help with. We took her with us to all the important appointments to keep her involved. She was even able to scan all of the goodies when we registered. She was so happy to have a little sister. Our family was coming together. I cannot even imagine what all this was like for Logan either. He went from being a 22 year old, typical bachelor to a father of two in a blink of an eye.

When Logan decided to propose to me he did two very meaningful things… he asked my dad and my daughter for permission. He proposed to me on her birthday because that was what she wanted since she knew it was going to happen before I did. I still don’t know how he got her to keep that a secret! On our wedding he said vows to her too. I really lucked out to get a guy like him to not only fall in love with me but with her too. I know it doesn’t always happen that way. Now here we are with a three girl army.

Now all most four years later we are still working on our dynamic. For the sake of being somewhat PC I will just say that my ex does not make it easy for us… ever. He is very much apart of RIley’s life but I believe he is threatened by Logan. Which in my opinion he should be. He should also be thankful that she has yet another person to love and protect her. He plays games with her and me. I am just so fortunate that Logan is always in my corner and stays calm through it all. Being a blended family is not easy. It takes even more work and more consistency on our part to ensure that Riley has routine between two completely different households. I think in the long run our commitment to our family is stronger because our love has grown out of choice not just out of biology.

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  1. Amanda perry -  January 4, 2012 - 8:24 pm

    I feel like i just read my story with just a few changes. We are a 3 girl army too and my husband went from a 22 year old with 0 kids to being married with a 3 year old and we welcomed our second right before his 24th birthday. I teared up reading this, seeing how sweet your husband is and reminding me how lucky i am for mine. Thank you 🙂

  2. Joelle -  January 5, 2012 - 10:57 pm

    I’ve known Logan since jr high and he truly is a great peretson! So glad to hear the story on how you two came together. 🙂

  3. DeeAnna -  January 20, 2013 - 9:07 am

    I can’t tell if this made me cry because of the content of the post or because I’m prego and hormonal but it is beautifully written.

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