Today I took a few moments to myself.
Jed was home and he had the twins in the house. We were irrigating the fields and I offered to take over for a bit. Annie (our dog) and I walked through the water and enjoyed the BEAUTIFUL 70-degree weather.
It’s hard to explain how good it felt. I got to hear water rushing over our fields. I got to feel mud between my toes. I got sun on my skin and actually have a minor sunburn this evening. It was so perfect. It would have been perfect with the twins splashing in the fields, but it was heavenly taking a few moments to do something completely on my own today. It was a needed break.
I don’t feel overwhelmed by parenting on most days. We are doing just fine. They are more independent all the time and I spend more time telling them not to eat dirt than actually playing with them. It’s a welcome change, like so many of the “next steps” that happen with twins. Each phase is hard, so progress feels good. It gets a little easier as they grow and gain independence. I still experience a little bit of melancholy when we hit a new milestone, but mostly, it’s excitement and a feeling of accomplishment. However, despite doing well with my role as primary caregiver, I still need my “me” moments, as rare as those are. I don’t need a girls’ night out or a pedicure, just a few moments to be alone and get back to center. It’s surprising how much that can help and I’m so thankful that my husband doesn’t flip out when I tell him he’s in charge of the babies for awhile and I’ll be outside. He loves their alone time as much as I do.
I know that this is a big part of the difference between moms who stay home and moms who work out of the home. It’s even a big difference between Jed and me. On the weekends I look forward to a change of pace. I want to visit people and see something new. Do stuff. On the weekends, parents who work somewhere else all week just want to stay home and savor those moments with their families. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you when they decline a weekend play date, it really is just a reflection of the differences in our everyday lives.
Today I got exactly what I needed and I’d venture a guess that Jed did too. It was perfect. I hope I always enjoy irrigating this much!