If you cannot tell from this photo….this guy and I are related., shocking isn’t it? No, he is not my twin….but he is my brother. For 18 years I knew he existed but did not know him. As an adopted child I had always known that I had another family out there, and that this other biological family included a brother who was less then 2 years younger then I was. I gained siblings through adoption, but we never had a typical sibling relationship and are more like distant relatives then we are immediate family. Growing up, I used to dream about what this other brother was like. Did he look like me? Did he wonder about me too? Did he even know I existed? Would we have been close? Would I finally have the close sibling relationship I have always wanted? He was never far from my thoughts, and as my 18th birthday approached he was my main motivation for finding my biological family. I wanted to know my brother.
Brent was 16 the day I called his house for the first time, and the day that he learned that he had a sister. For 16 years he grew up believing he was an only child and had no idea that out there somewhere was me. His sister. His blood, his sibling. I cannot imagine what that day was like for him. To go from being an only child, to having a sister in the span of just a few seconds. To live your entire life up to that point believing your an only child, only to find out that you’ve had a sister out there all along.
I would love to say that once I found my brother everything was happiness and light and unicorns pooped rainbows and we had this amazing relationship, but I would be lying. That fateful day that he learned about me as a teenager, was the first and only time I spoke to him for the next 3 years. Shortly after that day he joined the Air Force, and was shipped off to basic training. Over the next couple years, I begged my BirthMom to give me his contact info every chance I got. Each request was ignored and the subject was changed and I became a little more resentful until I eventually just stopped talking to her all together. Later I would learn, that like his big sister….my brother had been trying the entire time to get my contact info as well. Which just like me, was met with subject changes and outright refusal. For 3 years this went on, until finally I had enough. I was going to find my brother once and for all, even if I had to hire a private investigator to do it. Which is exactly what I did.
2 days after placing my add on http://www.the-seeker.com/angels.htm (if you’re adopted, a First Mom or have been touched by adoption and are looking for someone….THIS IS THE PLACE) my brother was found. He was stationed in Las Vegas and my search angel had put in a call to his CO (Commanding Officer). Boy do I wish I could have been a fly on that wall when the CO got that phone call and called my brother in. That first phone call he made, I cried. Here he was, my brother. My flesh and blood, my sibling, my family. I couldn’t believe it, and what was more I learned he had been trying to find me at the same time I had been trying to find him for all those years. Great minds and all that.
It’s been 8 years since then, and my brother is never far from my thoughts. I miss him everyday and wish like hell we all lived closer so I could see him more often. Every couple of years is just not enough. When we are together I am always awestruck to look at someone who looks exactly like me. Oh sure he’s a foot taller and is naturally a ginger, while I only pretend to be one….but the face is the same. The hands and eyes and toes are the same. We talk the same, and walk the same and have many of the same mannerisms. We share a love of the same foods and we have many of the same interests. I can’t get behind his music choices, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree on what constitutes “good music” ;). He is my sibling in every way, and I have the sibling relationship I’ve always wanted.
I love you baby brother….and I know your reading this.
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