I love to write. When I started this journey a year and a half ago, I did so with the intention of giving myself a consistent writing outlet. I figured the fact that I was able to spread my love of natural parenting alongside other like-minded mamas was a bonus, and knew it was a great fit. It really has been.
When I first started writing for TMD, the twins were only 5 and a half, CeCe was 4, and Adele only 10 months. They are now 7 years, 6 years, and 2 years old. I was still adjusting to being a mama of four little ones, and was readjusting to having a baby all over again. So much has changed over the last year and a half, and while I have loved documenting parts of that change, I also have worried that I have missed much of it. I have never been one to be overly caught up in social media or technology, but writing for the blog and managing the IG account, amongst other duties, meant that I became one of those people. You know the ones, nose in their phone, nodding a quick “uh-huh” while you try to tell them something funny. I became accustomed to watching my kids play outside, but really watching my phone for an update or quickly responding to questions and comments. The more distracted I became, the more I told myself I just needed to organize my time. I always thought that if I just managed my time better, I could do it all, and do it all well.
I have learned that for me, that’s not the case. I am not someone who can do it all well. I have realized I have to choose the things that are most important to me and focus on those things, working to do them well, and let go of the others. My husband and our marriage are at the top of my list. When we are taking the time to enjoy and appreciate one another, when that relationship is strong, the rest of our household is strong as well. I am tired of spending my nights blogging, and I’m tired of deadlines. I just want to sit on the porch with my husband discussing our day. My kids are next on the list. I love having four kids, but they are also very time consuming. I am tired of shouting “stop fighting” from the other room while I catch up on Instagram. That is not how I parent, and that is not how I want to raise my children. I am so worried that their childhood will pass me by without me realizing how that happened, so I am taking control of my time and my priorities and saying that they are more important than other things. I choose them.
I am choosing to homeschool with purpose, to play with intention, and to have enough mental space to give lots of grace. I am tired of always being short on time, and I miss walks to the ice cream parlor. I want to play in the sun this summer with nothing other than laundry and dinner to worry about.
I am going to miss this writing outlet, and I am going to miss the constant contact with my blog sisters. The only reason I can walk away from this is because I know the friendships I’ve formed will continue. I have made lifelong friends through TMD, and that is the very, very best result of the tie I’ve invested. I am so thankful.
If you don’t already follow me on Instagram, find me if you want to keep up and follow along with my crazy families adventures. I’m @kellihansen over there. Thank you for reading my words, for your encouragement, your advice, and your time. Thank you for watching my family grow and for growing with us!