Half a Person
Some people may be surprised to learn that ^^^^this girl used to be me. I don’t often share these pictures because they make me uncomfortable. I didn’t like myself very much when I tipped the scales at 240 lbs and could no longer buy clothes at “normal” stores. I was horrified when the size 3 jeans that I once wore, didn’t even fit over my calve. I was embarrassed to leave the house….the only time I went out was when Mr. Squish and his mom would pester me into leaving by enticing me with food. I wasn’t very happy and hostess was my friend.
All my life I’ve always been thin. I never worried about dieting, or exercise or making sure I “ate right”. I ate junk and never gained an ounce of fat. When I got pregnant with SquishyKid #1 I used my pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything I could. I ate cakes, and cookies, and McDonalds and crap. All day, everyday. I went from 130 lbs pre-pregnancy to nearly 240 at delivery. I take much of the blame for being morbidly obese. I could have made better, healthier choices in what I ate. I SHOULD have made healthier choices…but I didn’t and because of that choice, I now had to work to be thin again.
Gone was my naturally thin body and metabolism, I had broken it by overloading it with sugar, and fat and junk. So those were the first things I cut out of my diet. No more pop. I replaced it with water and stopped eating anything with refined sugar. I stopped eating fast food…no more big macs and large fries or dairy queen dessert treats. No more little debbie swiss cake rolls or late night love affairs with Ben and Jerry. I wouldn’t even allow that stuff to be brought into the house because I will be the first to admit that I have no self control. Even to this day if there is a box of swiss cake rolls in the house they will be gone by tomorrow and I can easily sit down to a pint of ice cream by myself in 1 sitting.
A couple months went by and I FELT better. I had no scale and I think that has been key for me, but my clothes fit better. Some were even to big. It was slow but I could see that I was losing weight. During this time was the whole “white enriched flour is bad” campaign so I decided to cut out all white enriched flour which is what I think really gave my body that nudge to really shed the pounds. I got back down to around a size 10 before I got pregnant with SquishyKid #2 and was even down to a size 6 after The Girl. During each subsequent pregnancy I gained a good bit of weight and had around 60 lbs to lose each time. That’s just my body. I never again reverted to my glutenous behavior like with SquishyKid #1 but just always seem to gain A LOT of weight.
Now that I’m about the size I want to be, I really have to work at not gaining weight. I still don’t have a scale and don’t want to know what I weigh. I eat really light during the day so I can gorge myself on yummy food at dinner. I’ve never been a breakfast person so I end up having coffee for breakfast and then a light lunch. It’s probably not the most “healthy” way to maintain weight but there it is. Mainly, I’ve come to love my curvier body with some extra padding. My 18 year old self would probably look at me and snear, but I’ve come to be ok with the size 10 that I am now. When I was heavier my body literally hurt. I’m only 5’2 so having that extra 100 lbs on my very small frame was hard on my body. My hips hurt, I could barely walk up stairs without getting winded and walking any length of time was out of the question and if I was babywearing it only made that worse. Now that’s all changed, and tandem wearing 2 kids through Disney ALL DAY is a piece of cake and I can shop in normal stores again 
.
YAY ME!
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Yay!!! Great job squishy!
Thank you so much for your post!
Way to go momma! That’s amazing. And an awesome accomplishment.
You’re only 5’2?! I could have sworn you look so much taller than that in pics. I’m 5’3 and 230 pounds, and no motivation what so ever. My SIL is dragging me out to a Zumba class Friday….god help us all. Lol
I started a Zumba class last week, my mother made me. It has been so much fun. I cant believe I actually look forward to going.
I’m hoping it will help me shed the last 10-15 lbs I need to get rid of.
Yay Alyssa! Keep up the great work!!!
You always make me laugh with your honesty and you look fantastic! I too gain weight easily and have a dangerous love for all things bad for my body. It takes effort.
Great post I’m currently pregnant & dreading weightloss already you look amazing