My name is Charlee (pronounced just like the guys name) I am 33 years old, married to a hot blooded Italian for almost 5 years and mother of one. I guess I’ll start from the beginning but try to make my long story short!
My husband and I started dating 9 years ago. I told him that even though I adore children of all ages I just can’t bare being pregnant. I, at that time had never been hospitalized; heck the only bones I ever broke were my toes. So to me having a living being growing inside of me always creeped me out. We dated for 2 years before he asked me to marry him. 2 years after that we were married. Within the 4 years before our wedding he had met my parents. My mother and I do not have the best relationship. Ok we have no relationship. In fact, the farther apart we are the better we get along. My dad on the other hand was my world.
Ciro, my husband finally understood the other reason why I always said I was never going to get pregnant. He knew I was scared; I did not want to end up like my mother. So he never brought the topic up… until last year!
Last year, we started having problems in our marriage, I was clueless as to why he was pulling away, and we finally had it out with each other. (We normally never fight) Turns out he wanted to start a family and we all know men and how they ever so nicely share feelings and read minds. I can’t really blame him though. With knowing my feelings on why I always say never he thought he was stuck with just me. Forever. But once he convinced me that I’m not my mother and that he will be there with me every step of the way and that he wanted to try to start trying.
So I agreed, never say never. Right? We did the baby dance daily for the first month. Aunt flow came and went, and then he started to get stage fright because he was nervous. We didn’t get pregnant right away and he thought it was his fault. I told him that I had read that we can baby dance every other day and its better for sperm count and less pressure. That sperm stays swimming for 3 days anyways so no big deal. That seemed to work. And what do you know. Aunt flow did not show up, a positive pregnancy test did on month 2!!
On May 14th 2011 we were pregnant! Hubby ran to the store to get more tests for confirmation! So after a few positives we decided to tell our families. Who were not only shocked we were trying but that we were pregnant. I know most people wait till after the first trimester. It just so happened to all takes place on his birthday. So when our family called to wish him a happy birthday he just couldn’t hold it in.
Damn the man who said it was morning sickness!! I had it all day every day. Every 30 minutes I was in the bathroom! I was put on IV and had to go on FMLA at work. I was worthless I was sick and I was not happy! My doctor put me on zofran. It worked somewhat. I was able to keep crackers and water down, but still very sick. I had to quit my job because it did not feel right going and spending my time in the bathroom, or calling in or leaving early daily. It wasn’t fair to my employer. I hated every moment of being pregnant!
Doctor’s appointments came and went, Ciro was with me at every one. (Except one) and we found out she was a girl! Now a few months before we were pregnant I had lost my father. He passed away suddenly and I wanted to honor him by naming our son after him. But seeing how we were having a girl. We decided to name her after Ciros grandmother. (Angela) Isabella Angela was our girls name and Enzo Charles was our boy’s name. We wanted to stick with Italian and name sakes.
My pregnancy aside from the morning sickness was going smoothly. UNTIL… that one doctor appointment that my hubby didn’t make it to. I had to be put on non stress tests and ultrasounds weekly at that point. Due to low fluid and high heart rate. I was scared; I did everything and anything I could do to protect her. Even though my doctor said I was far enough along that she would be fine if there was early delivery.
I drank water like a fish, ate even healthier if that was possible and was on light bed rest for the last 6 weeks before I had her. Oh yeah and she was also breeched. So on top of all that I had to worry about a c section.
3 weeks later, fluid was up her heart rate was back to normal and I was released from rest. However she was still breeched. My doctor said that with her position it would be pointless to try to move her because I would just trigger a c section anyways. So my doctor scheduled us for a c section at week 39.
Most moms enjoyed being pregnant, I did not. I did not like the movements, being sick, uncomfortable, just having my body high jacked. Everything about my pregnancy sucked. And it was all about to end. I just had to make it through the c section. Surgery!! Ahhh!
On D Day I had to breathe and tell myself one thing at a time! IV, check. Catheter, check. Epidural, check. ALL of them hurt and my nurse had to poke me 4 times before she was successful with an IV, had troubles with the catheter and of course the Epi made me scream. But man, whoo. Once it was all done I was in heaven. I was finally comfortable for once! I didn’t have to get up to pee every 5 seconds! I was a happy fatty! LOL
January 13 2012 at 7:43 am Isabella Angela Messina was born. 7 pounds 4.4 ounces 20 inches tall and perfect. Hubby left my side to be with her while I was being stitched up. We were all in the same room so I could hear everything that was going on. Once we both were all done. They gave Bella to me and wheeled us in recovery. I was very emotional once I had her. This was my living breathing being. I am now responsible for a human. I never wanted to be apart from her ever! Aside from a hearing test I spent every second with her while I we were in the hospital. I was in heaven! Ciro and I made this beautiful little girl!!
Recovery was not that bad, I was up and showered and walking around the next day! I was doing so good, that I was released a day early then expected but I told them since I was having such a terrible time at nursing I could use the extra day here for the help and support.
I had milk 2 days later and BOY oh BOY my boobs tripled in size. Bella’s weight was dropping because I couldn’t get her to latch on my enormous boobs. Every consultant was not helping. Finally one actually watched me nurse before she gave me instructions to see what we were doing wrong and wha la! We finally got it!!
Once home, and with Bella latching like a pro. She decided she wanted to nurse for hours at a time. My poor nipples where raw and I could scream every time she wanted to nurse. When was this going to end? I didn’t know how much longer I could hold out. My husband was NOT supportive and kept saying let me get a bottle out. I finally had to scream at him to shut the BEEP up about it and be supportive. And if he couldn’t handle that to shut up about it period. I was on my own…
I bought soothies, cream and even used ice packs. I tell ya I was a hurting mommy. It was about 2 months of pain. Maybe a little under. And guess what. I’m still nursing and it doesn’t hurt anymore!! Yay!! I am so glad I was able to stick with it. With me not working since 3 months into my pregnancy and being unemployed ahead of schedule we had no funds for formula expenses. I planned on nursing and I’m so grateful that we have been successful with it all!
I am still a stay at home mom, we live pay check to pay check and bicker at each other about the small stuff a lot. We each think we know more than the other about a baby when we both don’t know anything…lol. We are learning together. We are happy that I am a SAHM because we live in a state with no family or friends to help. We did not like the idea of having a stranger raise our daughter and I basically would be working for child care expenses anyways. So it’s a sacrifice that’s well worth it!
I feel like the best mom, even though hubby never gives me credit. (Its nice to hear it sometimes ya know) I keep a clean house and cook dinner every night. Keep up with the laundry and do all the grocery shopping. So I say being a stay at home mom suits me J and believe it or not. I am actually considering trying for a 2nd baby in a year! I want to try for that boy so I can name the little fella after my daddy!! J I never thought that being a mom would be this great. If I only knew what I know now 5-10 years ago, I wouldn’t have waited so dang long to have a baby!!