Mom Support (or lack thereof)

 I have an idea. Are you sitting down? Are you ready for it? Are you sure? It’s quite a novel idea. Ready??


“But Misty. I don’t judge” you say. Sure you do. We all have. It’s human nature to judge. It’s what you do with that judgment that matters. Your words & your actions could have very well hurt a fellow mother. How does that make you feel? What if right here, right now you stopped caring what other mothers were doing? What if you stopped concerning yourself with what another mother was feeding her child or what stroller a mom is using? Is it really any of your business if you know a three year old who isn’t potty trained or who is spending the most money on their children & who isn’t?

 I bet if all moms turned their full attention back to those who truly matter–our children–we would all be happier. I have been the victim of mom judgment many times. I have been called everything from a bad mom for co-sleeping to a lazy parent because of my inability to breastfeed. Once upon a time those things hurt me, but not any more.

Talks of mom judgment help no one. All it does is keep us in a prepetual cycle of judgment & bad blood. By judging, we are really being self-serving. We are shifting the focus away from the one mom who we are afraid of judging: ourselves. We are using this as a form of connecting to other moms & it’s getting us nowhere. It is keeping us in constant, negative, small-minded conversations.

What if instead, we embraced each other? We gave each other a friendly nod of friendship when we see each other out, instead of looking each other up & down, judging baby carriers, kids clothes, & diaper bags? What if we see a mom who before we would shun for bottle feeding & gave her a warm smile? Would that be possible? Could we live with ourselves if we were NICE to each other?

Let’s move our focus back to our children.

Let’s feed off each other in our successes. Let’s love & embrace each other. Let’s share our wisdom with each other. I bet, no, I know that we would all be happier for it. Hurting someone else does nothing for your cause. It brings everyone down & it’s disgusting. It needs to stop.

So with that being said, are you in? Can you commit to keeping negative opinions to yourself? Can you promise that you will be less judgmental & more supportive? We cannot control the lives of others, but we do have control of our own. We are in control of our own happiness. Being nice will make you happy.

There is only one way to find out. Are you in?

No Comments

  1. Heather P. -  October 26, 2012 - 12:07 pm

    Yes! As the saying goes…”If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

  2. Amanda perry -  October 26, 2012 - 1:26 pm

    Not so much a comment on my actions but yesterday i took laini and lia to the grocery store and wore laini and had lia in the seat of the cart and a mom stopped me and told me that i was a brave mommy with beautiful kids and i literally spent the next couple isles beaming with pride, i really appreciate that mom taking the time to say that.

  3. Becky Rhoades -  October 27, 2012 - 7:26 am

    I have a friend who is pregnant with her first…and ithas inspiredme to blog about the difficulties I faced as a first time mom. I want others to know that when they are feeling ragged, are at their wits end, or feeling blue… Theyare not alone and those things don’t make them bad moms. Support!!!!!!

  4. Joy Marie Platt -  October 29, 2012 - 11:33 am

    We are all called to judge, but we are not called to condem each other there is a huge difference. Besides I am resposable for my children not any other children. O do not get me wrong I care about all children, but my primary job is to raise the kids that the Lord has given me. So I do not really worry about the small stuff, how people choose to feed and raise their kids, for the most part I have my hands full raising my own.

  5. Amanda M S -  November 2, 2012 - 3:41 pm

    Well said! I never understood the point of nasty and negative comments. Who does that help? Does it make the person feel better?

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