Not Crunchy Enough: A List of Crunchy Staples I Fail At.

There was once a time when I was a naive pregnant mama who wanted to be like all the cool crunchy moms I read about on the net.
They made paleo meals for their brood of six, they did one load of laundry per week, their children were diaper-free from 6 months old, and they harvested their own veggies when they weren’t homeschooling and raising chickens.

That was the life! Or so I thought.

I wanted to be a no poo, elimination communicating, Eco-friendly enthusiast mother and nothing was going to stop me!

Elimination communication
Sitting next to the potty all day is really overrated. The amount of pee I cleaned off of the floor in a two day period was enough for me to reconsider EC. Actually during a diaper-free play date watching four other babies piss on the floor, convinced me that EC is dependent on the child, and forcing EC on to a child is just like potty training a mouse.
NEXT!

Homeschooling
It’s not going to happen. I would be an awful teacher. Sometimes I look at Atticus and wonder if I am doing enough for him as an almost 2 year old, and couldn’t imagine trying to teach him the things that a real educator would instill in him. My hat goes off to all those who successfully homeschool.

All natural cleaners
How I wish vinegar and baking soda worked on everything. About 6 months into trying to switch all my cleaners to natural alternatives, I brought back the Clorox. I never felt my home was clean enough while using the alternatives.
Bad crunchy, I know.

No Poo
Considering I don’t get to shower on a daily basis, I felt like this switch would be an easy one. It was not. It was awful, in fact. I like clean hair. My hair felt dry and icky. No poo was not for me. See how quickly my mind changed? Yup, give me my shampoo and conditioner any day over brittle, and oily hair.

Composting
Did you know collecting spare food scraps stinks? Did you know that the stinky pile of rotting veggies and fruits attracts bugs? This was neither sanitary or helping my sanity. Composting and I did not get along. Great idea in theory, but I could not handle the smell, the look, the bugs or the idea of having worms and rot accumulating in my yard.

Chickens.
No. They shit everywhere, they make noise, they smell, and well, ick. Who knows if they are even going to produce eggs? Probably not. Chickens are not for me. They gross me our and I have yet to meet a single person who has chickens that lay eggs.

I will end this post with four more juicy secrets;

I’ve thrown out a cloth diaper before.
My child has sat forward facing on more than one occasion.
We use disposable wipes.
I’ve purchased non-organic milk….

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17 Responses to “Not Crunchy Enough: A List of Crunchy Staples I Fail At.”

  1. Tasha
    November 9, 2013 at 9:13 am #

    My feelings exactly. I had this idea of how I was gonna be as a mother. I have to admit, the more people that doubted me, the more determined I became. I am currently doing things that I set out to do, cloth diapering and wipes, making organic baby food, using natural products and cleaners. However, I work full time and my son is in daycare. I use disposable inserts for my cloth diapers. I keep a supply of DD and use them on long outings or if I don’t have clean diapers. I also use disposable wipes. Although, I do enjoy making baby food, Plum Organics and Earths Best has decent organic baby food, especially when I don’t have time. I wanted to buy Silas an all natural expensive crib mattress. I’m glad I didn’t because he never sleeps in his crib. I understand exactly what you mean. :)

  2. Amanda perry
    November 9, 2013 at 10:26 am #

    I actually know someone who has 3 girls like me with a 4th girl on the way who composits (sp?), has chickens that lay eggs, homeschools (like me), and does all fresh paleo food for her kids…def a supermom i cant make it to that level lol i cloth diaper but use disposable wipes and liners, i threw out a poop cloth diaper recently because i was out of liners and we were far from home so it was entirely too much to deal with lol, all in all, i feel ya xza, some things are better in theory and more dependant on the family than the mindset

  3. Sarah Grogan
    November 9, 2013 at 10:38 am #

    This is where my whole motto in life falls into place. I’ll do my best, you do yours we support each other. I switched to cloth after mommycon on my 6th child! I filled a landfill up with diapers! I also use all natural chem free soaps, cleaners and such fort family. I only buy organic fresh food but when I buy cans I buy what ever. No way I’ll ever have chickens…although a good friend has eggs from hers. I love my kids but I love sending them off to school too. ;-). At the end of the day I don’t judge you or me! I accept what I do each day and move on!

  4. Jess
    November 9, 2013 at 11:15 am #

    At least you make an effort!! Some of us don’t have the time, patients, money etc to live exactly how we want to. I’m sure you are a well informed mama and we can only try are best! So you rock for trying your best, I’m right there with ya!

  5. Brittany
    November 9, 2013 at 11:48 am #

    I love this! There is a company that is called Shaklee that makes natural and non toxic cleaning products. My dad lives in Florida and has chickens. They do lay eggs, not many and they are very small.

  6. Kirsten Leitner-Markert
    November 9, 2013 at 12:06 pm #

    Xza, this is my favorite post from The Mommy Dialogues ever! As mothers we all had this idea in our head about what kind of mother we would be and how would we parent. Then reality steps in. I am with you there on the home schooling, with my mommy brain and working full time I do not think I can do a better job than a professional educator. Amen to those who do it, I applaud you. I am also reading this post while my kids eat (probably gmo) popcorn and watch Dumbo. Thanks for the honesty, I really needed that today.

  7. Katie Mortensen
    November 9, 2013 at 12:14 pm #

    I’m pretty sure your my new best friend. Well except that you would see the compost in my yard if you came over (but I swear it doesn’t smell bad and the kids love digging for the worms)

    • Xza
      November 10, 2013 at 12:45 pm #

      The worm part made me squeam.

      #citygirl

  8. Laney
    November 9, 2013 at 12:25 pm #

    I’m right there with you! It’s hard when you idolize everything crunchy but to stay grounded you have to let go of a few things here and there. You’re being a great mom when you can look at your life and say, “Ok, this is enough, this is where I draw the line.” Driving yourself insane trying to meet the crunchy ideal is worse for your family than the things you are trying to avoid. Got to stay mentally healthy first. Everything else is secondary. <3

  9. Ashley
    November 9, 2013 at 12:42 pm #

    I’m not a crunchy momma, but I do have chickens. My Hensley for me every day. I get 4 eggs per week. 2 chickens doesn’t compile a lot of poop and because they’re hens (not roosters) there’s little to no noise. We only ever hear them cluck if our dogs are aggravating them. The benefits to having chickens are great; free eggs, they eat the ticks & fleas that are in your yard AND they make good pets for small toddlers. My 2 year old like to help collect eggs & he likes to help dump the feed to them.

  10. Ashley
    November 9, 2013 at 12:44 pm #

    **my hens lay

  11. Katie Crawford
    November 10, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    Girl. I love this. I thought you were the crunchiest momma I knew. This makes me feel so much better about things. =D

    • Xza
      November 10, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

      I shave and use deodorant too… I’m not that crunchy.

      Off to braid my wraps now.

  12. Elle
    January 2, 2014 at 1:29 pm #

    That’s cool. But maybe it doesn’t matter. And maybe the fact that you’re listing all your crunchy “labels” and “accomplishments” in your bio means you’re still holding onto them a bit too closely. Those don’t define you as a person or a parent. It doesn’t matter what category you fit into, or what arbitrary “crunchy label” you work so hard to earn. I’m not saying parenting methods don’t matter… they do. But it’s different for everyone, and the older you get the smaller those things become. Be you!

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