Not Crunchy Enough: A List of Crunchy Staples I Fail At.

There was once a time when I was a naive pregnant mama who wanted to be like all the cool crunchy moms I read about on the net.
They made paleo meals for their brood of six, they did one load of laundry per week, their children were diaper-free from 6 months old, and they harvested their own veggies when they weren’t homeschooling and raising chickens.

That was the life! Or so I thought.

I wanted to be a no poo, elimination communicating, Eco-friendly enthusiast mother and nothing was going to stop me!

Elimination communication
Sitting next to the potty all day is really overrated. The amount of pee I cleaned off of the floor in a two day period was enough for me to reconsider EC. Actually during a diaper-free play date watching four other babies piss on the floor, convinced me that EC is dependent on the child, and forcing EC on to a child is just like potty training a mouse.
NEXT!

Homeschooling
It’s not going to happen. I would be an awful teacher. Sometimes I look at Atticus and wonder if I am doing enough for him as an almost 2 year old, and couldn’t imagine trying to teach him the things that a real educator would instill in him. My hat goes off to all those who successfully homeschool.

All natural cleaners
How I wish vinegar and baking soda worked on everything. About 6 months into trying to switch all my cleaners to natural alternatives, I brought back the Clorox. I never felt my home was clean enough while using the alternatives.
Bad crunchy, I know.

No Poo
Considering I don’t get to shower on a daily basis, I felt like this switch would be an easy one. It was not. It was awful, in fact. I like clean hair. My hair felt dry and icky. No poo was not for me. See how quickly my mind changed? Yup, give me my shampoo and conditioner any day over brittle, and oily hair.

Composting
Did you know collecting spare food scraps stinks? Did you know that the stinky pile of rotting veggies and fruits attracts bugs? This was neither sanitary or helping my sanity. Composting and I did not get along. Great idea in theory, but I could not handle the smell, the look, the bugs or the idea of having worms and rot accumulating in my yard.

Chickens.
No. They shit everywhere, they make noise, they smell, and well, ick. Who knows if they are even going to produce eggs? Probably not. Chickens are not for me. They gross me our and I have yet to meet a single person who has chickens that lay eggs.

I will end this post with four more juicy secrets;

I’ve thrown out a cloth diaper before.
My child has sat forward facing on more than one occasion.
We use disposable wipes.
I’ve purchased non-organic milk….

About the author

Xza
Xza Louise Higgins is the founder of MommyCon, creator of The Mommy Dialogues, and punk rock mom to two year old Atticus in the great city of Chicago, IL. She is incredibly passionate about birth options, human rights, and promoting gentle parenting practices.

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