The Art of Restraint

I have 3 little girls and a grown boy a husband. He goes to work, he provides for his family, he plays with the kids, he kinda disciplines and he is really good at being a royal pain in my ass. I am often times really impressed with my own restraint when it comes to NOT killing him. Trust me if there was a face palm emoji it would be my best friend at the moment! I am fairly certain if they intense amount of love I feel for this man didn’t outweigh the intense amount of A$5JK$INGKNK I feel for him, his quality of life would be so different.

I love him and I love him a ton or else he would probably spend the rest of his days living in the garage with his ridiculous scooter. I often times wonder “Is it just me??” or does every women marry a man that has a child buried deep inside? I mean geez man…. How. Many. Effing. Times do I need to remind someone to pay their ambulance bill? Wanna know why we even have an ambulance bill? Because this dude flipped the car on it’s side…IN THE FRONT YARD! (ok not technically but really close). If you look up SMH in the Urban Dictionary you may just find a picture of that moment in our lives in there.

Thanksgiving is a big day at our house and this year I was required to work the day before. He forgot to take the turkey out to thaw after we had a full-blown conversation about it! (Enter purple mean face with horns emoji). It really sucks when you are in charge of dinner, clean up and kids huh? Our entire house would burn down if I was gone. TO THE GROUND.

I tend to be a somewhat, high stressed individual and that stress turns to pissed really fast. I have little to no restraint and zero tolerance for BS. I see the moment when my bitching turns into the woooooont woooont sound from Charlie Brown. He actually has a term for it… “Charlie Browning”. He swears he never does it to me but I seriously doubt it. This makes me see red especially in the middle of an argument. Like I want to NINJA kick him something.

** Ok in all seriousness… I love and adore my husband, I truly do. I am just at my wits end here. Does anyone else have a husband that really knows how to drive them batty?! Tell me funny shit they do to make me feel better!

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  1. Amber -  November 28, 2012 - 6:44 am

    Oh Hun you are preaching to the choir! I totally am in the same boat! The amount of times I have growled and walked into the bathroom so I don’t rip his head off are no longer countable on two hands, or even my toes! He doesn’t even remember to call his dr to reschedule an apt or pay any sort of bills. But he won’t forget what day some dumb video game comes out! *bangs head into wall*

  2. Hanna -  November 28, 2012 - 9:13 am

    My fiancé does similarly annoying things. You’d swear we live in different houses with the amount of times he asks me, “Hanna, where’s the ____?” YOU LIVE HERE, and our house is an 800 square foot rental, look around!

  3. Amber -  November 28, 2012 - 9:43 am

    Oh yes. I am totally with you on that. It’s like everything I say goes in one ear and out the other…EVERYTHING I say! I love him dearly or I’m sure I would have seriously hurt him by now. Monday night after work we pulled up to my parents house. I got out of the car. Sat my purse in the seat. I said please take my purse into our house, get my cell phone from the table, and get the dogs. He drove 30 feet down our driveway parked the car and went in our house. He showed up at my parents house about 20 minutes later with the dogs. He hadn’t gotten my cell phone or taken my purse in. Then later he made a trip back and forgot my cell a SECOND time. I was soooo frustrated!!! I think it’s pretty common. Argh!!

  4. Jackie -  November 28, 2012 - 9:58 am

    Oh, this post I’d hug if I could because OHMYGAWD! I get everything you said. Mine forgets everything unless I remind him and remind him again until it feel like I have to tell him to pay this bill, sign your mother’s birthday card, wipe your ass, ugh. Men.

  5. Theresa -  November 28, 2012 - 10:13 am

    I feel you. I love and adore my husband. To no end. But if I have to hear, can you grab me some socks? Or if I have to pick up said socks off of the living room floor at the end of the day, I’m gonna lose my marbles.

  6. Sarah G -  November 28, 2012 - 11:19 am

    It’s like we are living the same life. He makes a mess worse than the 4, 3, &2 year old combined, leaves it for me to clean up, then comes home and says “what did you do all day?” Um, I cleaned up YOUR MESS. did you not notice that?! F me

  7. Heather P. -  November 28, 2012 - 11:38 am

    I gave up on having him pay bills and such I’m too OCD for that. What my biggest annoyance is he NEVER finds anything. His definition of looking is open the door, drawer, whatever and close it. He never moves anything to actually look for something. So I gotta get up and look for what HE wants for him.

  8. Allison -  November 28, 2012 - 12:28 pm

    Yessssssss! I can’t give one example without launching into other stories, but we all must be married to the same family of men! Somedays it feels like the things he does are intentional in order to drive me bonkers.

  9. Joy Marie Platt -  November 28, 2012 - 3:21 pm

    I used to be really pissed by all of that stuff as well, but I also remember what he is good at to. He has such a wonderful heart. More than once I have been the one who forgets things, who pisses him off, ect. I am not always an easy person to live with. One thing that will always stay with me is that he never gave up on me when almost everyone else did. My Grandmother has this saying hanging up in her house. “We would rather fight than quit!”

  10. Joy Marie Platt -  November 28, 2012 - 3:23 pm

    But my point is that anyone u love so deeply will piss u off more than anyone else!

  11. April -  November 28, 2012 - 9:21 pm

    Mine is like having a second child. He goes to work and busts his butt but once he gets home it’s like he just sits on his butt and does nothing but ask me for stuff. If he actually had to cook for himself or do laundry he’d starve and never have clean clothes. He’s also one that wakes me up every morning at 4am when he’s leaving for work because he can’t find HIS keys, socks, shirt, head, etc unless it’s right out in the open with a big flashing neon sign!! Drives me nuts!!

  12. Erin -  November 28, 2012 - 11:34 pm

    My DH, like most virgos, is over the top organized and anal. We are a perfect match in that way. His big challenge is disciplining our daughter. At 2 she already doesn’t believe him when he tells her to do things or listen and I of course always have to step in. He is in trouble with another girl on the way!

  13. Amanda M S -  December 4, 2012 - 9:46 pm

    Omg I would need about 2 hours to type out all the BS my husband does on a daily basis! Haha. Good thing he works hard and is good with the baby. LOL

  14. Brayan -  December 9, 2012 - 5:24 am

    kassa Posted on I would very much like to do my masters in early cdiohhold Education because I love to kkow more about how childresn learn, and I want contribute by preparing the right materials .

  15. comprar bolsos longchamp -  January 24, 2014 - 5:20 am

    Muy buenas marca personales, todo hay que decirlo. A pesar de los típicos obstáculos que tiene este magnífico deporte, lo más importante creo que es la auto-superación personal. Como comentan, queda mucho por hacer!

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