I have felt kinda “blah” as of late. I am not sure what caused it but I do know that I am the only one able to change it. I have been thinking a lot about a few little changes I could do in my daily routine that could help me turn my frown upside down. I have come up with 5 things that I am going to make a priority for ME and my happiness.
- Expectations- I tend to put a lot of expectations on myself and my loved ones. While having goals is a really great thing, these expectations most time leads to disappointment. This is particularly true in case when placing these goals onto other people. I need to stop that. Much of my happiness is dependent on other people’s behaviors. I need to learn to be in the moment and just live that very second as is. That may mean being happy or being sad or being some other emotion, but just BEING is the key. I cannot change what other people do nor can I control the motive behind their actions. I can control how I will let it affect me and my behavior. The same goes for myself. I am not superwoman and sometimes I can’t do it all. That is ok.
- Diet- Last weekend I went to a GMO Free Seminar and it literally changed my life. I could go on, and on, and on with the many different aspects to why GM products are absolutely terrifying on every level imaginable BUT I will save that for a few other posts. I will tell you that I want my family to be healthier. I want to be healthier for my family. I have never been one to do some weird fad diet and my idea of exercise is chasing Lily while wearing Harper. I would love to tell you all that I will start working out and all the other fun crap to get into shape… I just can’t because I know I probably won’t. I am committed to changing our diet. I am fully committed to becoming a GMO Free house. It will not be easy and it will not be cheap but it will happen. I have a fierce determination burning inside of me that I need to do this, not just for my family, but for yours too.
- Cleanliness-I am a SAHM turned WAHM. My house is hardly ever as clean as I feel that it should be. I get lazy. I get tired. I get busy. My kids get busy. My husband comes home. My kitchen sink springs a leak. Life happens. When I take a moment to look away from MommyCon emails and glance at my home I get stressed. I hate living in a disorderly mess. I live small and need shit in it’s place or it seems a million times worse then it is. Let’s not even go into what happens when I mosey by a mirror! I can barely make time to sweep a floor let alone take a shower. Half the time I have to chose between folding a load of laundry, following up on MC work, or showering and very rarely does bathing myself win. 80% of my week is spent in pajamas… the same pajamas. I need to stop that. I need my house to be clean and calming. I get more work done when I am not stressed out about the last time I swirled a toilet brush around the girls’ toilet. When my house is clean it makes me happy. When I shower, do my hair, throw on some make-up and actually get dressed for the day I instantly feel much more accomplished. I am making it a priority that I stay on top of my house chores and that may mean asking for help if I need it. I am also making a promise to myself that I will shower at least 3 times a week and I can only have one PJ day.
- Technology- I am consumed in technology. I really don’t watch the television very often and my children get limited access. I have found that Elmo really does make the best free babysitter. That is not something I am terribly proud of. Lily is headed to pre-K when the next school year starts and I don’t feel she is where she should be. She should know her ABCs, 123s and how to spell her name. She doesn’t. I have been so wrapped up in my email, social media, and text messages I let that slip between my fingers. I watch my husband just sit with his nose in his phone and feel a bit ragey. Then I realize I am no better half the time. I can see how my kid’s behavior and attitudes change with a little too much technology and it drives me crazy. I can feel myself getting angrier and more on edge when I get too caught up in it too. I am making the change that needs to happen where we are happier. I will be cutting down my usage of technology drastically. I want to limit it to mostly during nap time and bed time. When the kids are awake I need to refocus and be present. My kids deserve that and so do I.
- Money- The number one stressor in my life is money. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I think that if I had $1 million in the bank I probably would still be extremely overwhelmed by the idea of money. I filed bankruptcy at the end of my first marriage and have worked very hard to better my credit. It is a slow and steady process and I was making great head way. Then my husband lost his well paying job and our only source of income. That meant we had to change our lifestyle and use almost every dime in our savings account. We also racked up a bit of debt that now gives me anxiety daily. It is at a point where are finally getting back on our feet. Life is returning back to our normal but I am still worried about it. I want to make sure that our savings account is built back up plus some. I want our debt gone. I want to go on a vacation to celebrate the survival of this hellish year.
There are a few more aspects that could benefit from some fine tuning here and there. When I decided to become a SAHM I made the decision based on the fact that it would make me happy. I would be active in kids life and in my marriage in ways that I just wasn’t able to be before. I have somehow or another lost track of that. I am hoping gaining some of the control back in these areas will lead me back to the core of my happy.