My kids are 3 years apart. My husband & I knew we wanted them close together because of our own sibling experiences growing up. My husband & his brother are 27 months apart. My sister & I are 6 years apart. Both had positive & negative sides to them. Ultimately we chose a small age gap between our kids.
When my sister was born, I was 6 years old. I was in kindergarten & up until then, I was THE girl…the only child in our home. Liz was born & I took to her like a new mama. I taught her how to read & how to braid hair. We played school & Barbie’s. We also fought a lot. A LOT. As she began school, I was in the 6th grade. We didn’t go to the same school. We had none of the same friends. We were into totally different things.
I went off to college in 1997 & she was in Jr. High. We fought like cats & dogs over EVERYTHING. I believe we actually hated each other. She was a young immature whiny baby & I was a mature grown-up college student. (YEAH RIGHT) It wasn’t until she went to college herself that we became close again. Now that she is married & has kids of her own, we are best friends. We did miss out on years of being close because of our age difference. Her being the baby & me being the oldest, she got more attention than I did & I noticed that.
My husband’s experience was different. He & his brother were born very close together. They went to the same school, had the same friends, & worked at the same after-school job. They remain close to this day.
There have been times, I admit, when I have had both of my kids with me, I’ve looked at mothers with an older kid with envy. Here I am with two small children, both of them into everything. Then I look at how close they are to each other already. Sure Jax is unable to watch Elliot while I take a shower, but they do keep each other entertained. They are each other’s shadow.
One of the cons to having them close in age is they will probably have to share a car, or we will have to buy two, when they are in high school. Also, having two children involved with extra-curricular things at the same time can get expensive.
When my second was born, I still had all of my first-borns baby gear, & it was all in great condition. We bought a few things, like a crib, another bouncer, & a crib mattress, but everything else we had. Actually, we had an over abundance of things.
I am so glad we had them close. They are already very close to one another. Grocery shopping can be difficult, but we have learned to handle it. I just hope they stay close & not distant themselves from one another like my sister & I did. She is actually planning on having children close in age for the same reason I did.
Deciding on the age difference between your children is a personal choice. There is no perfect age gap. Both come with pros & cons. If there is enough time & love in your home, then the age difference won’t matter.