I am in a funk. I am anxious, stressed and up until yesterday (when I read Kelli’s post) I didn’t realize I am lonely. I have some amazing friends both local, online and through this blog, but sometimes the text messages, emails and phone calls just don’t cut it. Actually, I sometimes find myself ignoring notes from friends, because I crave an hour free to just have coffee or do yoga with a friend. A gym about two blocks from our house is opening at the end of the month, and I cannot wait to join. We haven’t had a gym membership in months, and it is really taking its toll on my psyche.
I am so busy with MommyCon that I haven’t left the house all week so it’s eat, sleep, breathe MommyCon, and when that stops there is a mountain of house work to do. Kevin said he would go to the post office yesterday, and it was one of those “over my dead body” moments… I was going to leave the house in some capacity if it was the last thing I do. He already did our groceries for the week which is normally my hour and a half of solace.
When I get stressed and anxious, I clean. I focus on a corner and it gets shiny. I know that this funk will pass, but right now it just sucks. Like flat out, I hate this crap, sucks.
With all of this happening, I really hope Atticus doesn’t suffer. I love him so much, and know that my stressed disposition doesn’t fare well with him as he sleeps worse when I am in this haze.
I was hoping writing some of this out would help with my feelings, but it doesn’t. I guess I just need to suck it up, and eventually things will get better, right?