This Sucks.

I am in a funk. I am anxious, stressed and up until yesterday (when I read Kelli’s post) I didn’t realize I am lonely. I have some amazing friends both local, online and through this blog, but sometimes the text messages, emails and phone calls just don’t cut it. Actually, I sometimes find myself ignoring notes from friends, because I crave an hour free to just have coffee or do yoga with a friend. A gym about two blocks from our house is opening at the end of the month, and I cannot wait to join. We haven’t had a gym membership in months, and it is really taking its toll on my psyche.

I am so busy with MommyCon that I haven’t left the house all week so it’s eat, sleep, breathe MommyCon, and when that stops there is a mountain of house work to do. Kevin said he would go to the post office yesterday, and it was one of those “over my dead body” moments… I was going to leave the house in some capacity if it was the last thing I do. He already did our groceries for the week which is normally my hour and a half of solace.

When I get stressed and anxious, I clean. I focus on a corner and it gets shiny. I know that this funk will pass, but right now it just sucks. Like flat out, I hate this crap, sucks.

With all of this happening, I really hope Atticus doesn’t suffer. I love him so much, and know that my stressed disposition doesn’t fare well with him as he sleeps worse when I am in this haze.

I was hoping writing some of this out would help with my feelings, but it doesn’t. I guess I just need to suck it up, and eventually things will get better, right?

About the author

Xza Louise Higgins is the founder of MommyCon, creator of The Mommy Dialogues, and punk rock mom to two year old Atticus in the great city of Chicago, IL. She is incredibly passionate about birth options, human rights, and promoting gentle parenting practices.

1 Comment

  1. Amanda M S -  March 8, 2013 - 7:16 am

    Major hugs mama. This makes me sad 🙁 I bet once you get to the gym regularly this will fade away. Hire a cleaning lady to help you with the house work! I’ve had someone helping me for a couple weeks for and it makes my life so much easier. Can you go for daily walks with Atticus while K is working? I bet the fresh air and sun will help. I know you’re super busy with work but I bet if you took and hour in the afternoon to go outside and maybe just go window shopping, you’ll perk up? Xxx

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