Six years we have been together. Three years married. We have bought two homes & had two children. We have lost a baby. I have lost a mother. Together we have laughed & cried. During the times of sorrow, we cling to each other. We are each others best friends & biggest supporter.
My biggest wish before I was married was that I would find a good father for my children. I wanted to meet someone who wanted to be with his kids & wanted to teach them the same values that I did. I grew up not knowing my real father & my step-father works overseas so I never had a DAD. I had a male voice on the other end of the phone. I wanted my kids to have more than that.
When I was 26, I started dating my now husband. It was pure coincidence. We had known each other for years & the entire time, of going on bad dates & being dumped, he was right under my nose. I feel in love with him the moment he kissed me for the first time. For years I had cried & searched for a good man.
When we had our son, & learned of his disease, I didn’t know how to work through it. Landon did what he knew to do & that was be there for me. He helped me build my strength to get through it. He has never missed a single Dr’s appointment for Jax. I am so grateful for the time that he WANTS to spend with his children.
When my anxiety started getting worse, it was a struggle to keep a marriage together, while trying to sort out everything in my head. At times I felt undeserving of his love. It was hard to convey that to someone who knows nothing about depression & anxiety. The only thing that I could do was talk. We talk all of the time now. We make it a point to talk over everything we both are feeling.
It has taken a little while to realize that we we are on the same team. We are fighting the same fight. It’s easy to lay into your spouse & take all of your day’s frustrations out on him (GUILTY), but it’s not healthy. I want to show my children a good, strong marriage. Sure we argue, but it’s important to show your kids that yes…even good marriages have fights, but it’s how you resolve those issues that really count.
We also do something called “the 10 second kiss”. At any point of the day, we have to kiss for 10 seconds. It re-connects us. We have done the 10 second kiss in Lowe’s, at red lights, while cooking dinner, & changing diapers. It’s a way to let your spoouse know that you are thinking about them & even though everything around you is super stressful, you are there for them & that you want them.
Marriage isn’t easy & we have had our fair share (if not more) of rough times. Each time, though, he is there beside me, with supportive words & a calm spirit. He is not perfect, but he is more than I ever thought I deserved. There are days where I want to strangle him (I’m sure that is mutual) or say things I know I don’t mean. It’s easy to get caught up in everything that has to be done. Relax with your spouse. Enjoy each other. Remembering that you are on the same side makes all the difference.