I’ve never been what you would call a clean freak. As a child I was basically my mother and step-fathers slave, and did the chores of 3 kids while they did nothing but lord over me while I cleaned. Everything had to be just so, if the lines from the vacuum were not properly spaced….I would be vacuuming the whole room again. Plastic plants? Dust every.single.leaf individually….dishes? All me, every single day. Want to see my friends on Saturday? To bad, I had to clean all day to my parents standards which were impossibly high.
Nearly my entire single adult life I have rebelled against what I was made to do as a child. Cleaning was on the bottom of my priority list, so low on that list in fact that it very rarely ever saw daylight. Cleaning is probably one of my most hated activities. I wish every day that magical little cleaning fairies came while I was sleeping and did my dishes, my laundry, mopped my floors and cleaned the toilets. Everyday when I wake up and see the dinner dishes are still sitting in the sink, a little bit of me dies inside. I detest being a maid, and I very much feel like one.
As a married women, I’ve done a lot of passive aggressive things in regards to cleaning. There has been months, maybe even years at a time that I have not lifted a finger to clean anything because I was sick of being the ONLY person to clean anything for months on end, so I decided I was no longer going to do anything. Total passive aggressive dick move that still didn’t make it through anyone’s head because no one ever really cleaned anything no matter how filled with dishes the sink was (unless someone was coming over)…and I didn’t give a fuck that our house was a total mess because I wasn’t going to continue to be the ONLY person who cleaned on a daily basis. I’m stubborn, willful to a fault and have been super jaded growing up, so this seemed like a good solution in my mind to get other people to contribute. It wasn’t nor did it work.
I still struggle with wanting to regress into my passive aggressive ways when I get angry that I am the only one who really does anything in regards to cleaning. Oh sure the kids have chores, and I sometimes feel like my parents when I make them redo something that they’ve already done because it wasn’t done properly (according to me)….but the majority of the cleaning lands completely on my shoulders which I don’t really think is super fair or that “I have a day job” absolves you of having to clean the house on the reg. Mr. Squish will generally do things if I ask him specifically….usually after a few hours and sometimes even days of “I’ll do it in a little bit” (he hasn’t figured out that nothing makes me want to taint punch him more then “I’ll do it in a little bit”). Maybe it’s a guy thing, but I don’t feel like I should have to tell him to “do the dishes” if I just spent HOURS in the kitchen cooking his dinner… and spent hours prior to that making sure the house is presentable and that the dishes from last nights meal that I also cooked were done.
So now that I’ve spent most of my post passive aggressively bitching about Mr. Squish lol I will tell you how I keep our house what I like to call “company ready”. Thanks to one of my good friends (the amazing maker of Wrapstar Baby Carriers) I learned about Motivated Moms and subsequently learned that they also made an Iphone App. Basically what it is, is a list of chores for you to do daily, that take roughly an hour to complete and collectively keep your house company ready. If you’ve heard of FlyLady it’s similar, but I actually found it more useful to me then FlyLady was. I’m not a list maker, but I NEED a list to get things done or I just won’t remember. Quite a few of the chores on the MM app are things I would never think to do, but once I get in there I realize why it should cross my mind. You can add your own chores, assign chores to other people and section them off by rooms. It’s a pretty kickass app and really is the reason my house is clean. Here is today’s list
I really like that it tends to put chores that take awhile on separate days and accompany them with chores that take seconds or minutes to complete. I love that I scrub out the tubs one day, clean the mirrors another and do the toilets on another, instead of spending a whole hour or more cleaning just 1 bathroom on 1 day. It makes my life a million and 1 times easier and keeps my house clean with very little time and effort.