C Section Mamas!!!

I have had 4… yes 4… c sections. The first time it was the furthest thing from any part of my birth plan. Quite honestly, nothing about my first birth went according to my plan. I can also say, without a doubt, that very first c section saved my life and was the only shot my son had at making it. I didn’t have much of a choice but, if I had, I don’t think I would have chosen anything different. I was never a candiate for VBAC and I was ok with that. The next 3 surgeries actually made me feel safe. I know it may sound weird but knowing that I would have a c section (and early) made me more confident that I would be bringing home a baby. Am I caesarean section advocate? NOOOOO! It was what was right for me and my situation. Do I think that sometimes doctors feed off a new mother’s fear of labor to get them to agree to the more expensive procedure? Yes. It kills me when I see other forums where moms feel like failures because they had to have one. I want to tell those moms YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! I am sure that every single mommy goes into this journey with the best possible intentions for their babies. Sometimes babies have a much different plan. When everything is all said and done you have the most amazing gift… a baby. No matter how that new little person arrived in the grand scheme of things you did what you thought was necessary for them. Please don’t start beating yourself up over the logistics of it.

The scar sucks I know… I had heart surgery twice as a child and have a scar all the way down my chest and all the way up around my left shoulder blade. The very last thing I wanted was ANOTHER scar. Now I look at those scars as life lines… they literally are the reason why I am here… why my children are here. I have come to terms with it. The first surgery HURT SO BAD… I could not walk for damn near 2 weeks. By the 4th I was up and walking within a few hours. It truly is not as bad as I thought it had to be. I cannot help but get irritated as all hell to hear myths about them. Weight loss, breastfeeding, holding the baby, etc… Most of it is bullshit. I breastfed, held 2 of my babies while being sewn up, and I have gotten down to pre-pregnancy weight very easily. My life was not and will not be forever ruined because of it. I hate when other moms try to make a woman feel bad because they had a c section. I have found myself having to defend myself over and over and over again. It sucks. We can help change it though. As Misty said in her We Will Never Be The Same post…we need to stop judging and start supporting each other. We at The Mommy Dialogues have started a forum to do just that. Every Tuesday we have a new topic but we felt that this topic was just too important to not leave open on it’s own. So join me in starting to support fellow mamas whose experienced or may be getting ready to experience a c section.

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  1. Suzanne P. -  March 20, 2012 - 1:45 pm

    I just want to let you know how much you story helped me, I teared up reading. I’ve felt awful about having a c-section since MaKenzie was born. This helped me to realize its okay. I plan on a vbac next time but if it doesn’t happen I will not beat myself up over it. Thank you.

  2. Shytantoon -  June 8, 2012 - 1:39 pm

    I had an emergency Csection with my first and only baby a year ago tuesday. My fiance wants more kids but I am so scared that there will be complications during my pregnancy, such as, the scar tissue not stretching enough and hurting or something rupturing. I am also scared about my spine. I have severe nerve damage from the spinal they gave me and it makes my arms and hands go numb when I press on my lower spine! They will most likely have to put me under for my next csection which brings me to my last fear and that is dying on the table. I am scared im going to start bleeding alot and die. I know its probably stupid but these things are constantly on my mind. If you have any incourraging words for me please help.

  3. Jessica S. -  October 18, 2012 - 6:53 pm

    My first birth was a beautiful vaginal delivery..just like in the movies. I was baffled when I discovered my second was breech. She had always been breech and even though the odds for my babies to be breech are high (severe bicornuate utuerus) I just never thought it would happen to me…ya know? I tried EVERYTHING to get her to turn. I just couldnt believe I was going to have a csection from a babies position. It was hard to digest. Once I started accepting it..I became incredibly scared. I cried to my husband nightly about my fears of the impending csection. I had plenty people tell me that it wasnt that bad and I would be okay. When the day came for the surgery my heart was broken. I was distraught that I woudlnt get to hold my baby immeditately after birth…or even pick her birthdate :(. I remember going into the OR and the experience was so surreal. It definitely wasnt scary but almost shocking. I couldnt talk or explain my feelings. I just did NOT like it. The moment she came out I forgot everything. I loved her so much that the pain of not getting to birth her naturally slowly subsided. The recovery was even more horrifying. I am the type of person who doesnt like to depend on people…and in that situation you have NO choice. Ill never forget the things my husband did for me. For a couple months after her birth I still had a slightly broken heart from not being able to have the birth I desired, but as she started growing up and I saw that she was still one of the most beautiful thing sIve witnessed and that she is NOT scarred from the experience…I felt better. I want more kids and the thought of another csection still scares me as my odds are 50/50 of breech baby…but in the end you cant let a surgery stop you from groing a family <3

  4. Andrea -  October 18, 2012 - 8:07 pm

    I had a c-section with my daughter 5yrs ago. I am expecting my son in Jan and wish for a VBAC. I wanted to have this baby at a birthing center, but unfortunately due to mu previous c-section am not a candidate. 🙁 Ok no biggie, but when I expressed to my Dr about wanting to labor and deliver in a more natural manner she almost sounds like she is opposed to it because of my first cesarean. It’s a little discouraging to think that I won’t be able to birth my son the way I want due to a surgery 5yrs ago.

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