I have had 4… yes 4… c sections. The first time it was the furthest thing from any part of my birth plan. Quite honestly, nothing about my first birth went according to my plan. I can also say, without a doubt, that very first c section saved my life and was the only shot my son had at making it. I didn’t have much of a choice but, if I had, I don’t think I would have chosen anything different. I was never a candiate for VBAC and I was ok with that. The next 3 surgeries actually made me feel safe. I know it may sound weird but knowing that I would have a c section (and early) made me more confident that I would be bringing home a baby. Am I caesarean section advocate? NOOOOO! It was what was right for me and my situation. Do I think that sometimes doctors feed off a new mother’s fear of labor to get them to agree to the more expensive procedure? Yes. It kills me when I see other forums where moms feel like failures because they had to have one. I want to tell those moms YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! I am sure that every single mommy goes into this journey with the best possible intentions for their babies. Sometimes babies have a much different plan. When everything is all said and done you have the most amazing gift… a baby. No matter how that new little person arrived in the grand scheme of things you did what you thought was necessary for them. Please don’t start beating yourself up over the logistics of it.
The scar sucks I know… I had heart surgery twice as a child and have a scar all the way down my chest and all the way up around my left shoulder blade. The very last thing I wanted was ANOTHER scar. Now I look at those scars as life lines… they literally are the reason why I am here… why my children are here. I have come to terms with it. The first surgery HURT SO BAD… I could not walk for damn near 2 weeks. By the 4th I was up and walking within a few hours. It truly is not as bad as I thought it had to be. I cannot help but get irritated as all hell to hear myths about them. Weight loss, breastfeeding, holding the baby, etc… Most of it is bullshit. I breastfed, held 2 of my babies while being sewn up, and I have gotten down to pre-pregnancy weight very easily. My life was not and will not be forever ruined because of it. I hate when other moms try to make a woman feel bad because they had a c section. I have found myself having to defend myself over and over and over again. It sucks. We can help change it though. As Misty said in her We Will Never Be The Same post…we need to stop judging and start supporting each other. We at The Mommy Dialogues have started a forum to do just that. Every Tuesday we have a new topic but we felt that this topic was just too important to not leave open on it’s own. So join me in starting to support fellow mamas whose experienced or may be getting ready to experience a c section.
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