Circles in Birth

“I am having a home birth!”

“That’s great!”

“You will love it! Will you have a doula?”

At MommyCon, and within my circle of friends, conversations like this are the norm. It’s bliss. Support, passion, research; it’s all there.

I have almost become oblivious to the fact that a conversation like that just doesn’t happen out in everyday life. This past week I watched a mother be verbally persecuted for her well-educated decision to home birth. I was shocked. Not, because it was the first time that I had heard such terrible things be said to a 38 week pregnant mama, but because I had not heard such things in quite a while.

The MommyCon bubble has united me with men and women far and wide, who value natural parenting philosophies, and most of that starts with their births. Whether at home, a birth center or in the hospital a common affirmation is that: less is more, especially in the sector of modern day medicine.

The mother that had to endure vial sentiments such as; “your baby is going to die, because of YOU,” “You know you will die and leave your baby without a mother,” “That is so irresponsible, what if XYZ happens?” At 38 weeks pregnant, I hope it was the first time she had to listen to such as rude, and uninformed opinion, but after speaking with her in depth, she said it was quite common.

Unlike many of the mothers I know, including my own, her family was extremely supportive of her decision to home birth. Her circle of friends were mildly supportive, but her colleagues and complete strangers neither valued, respected or agreed with her decision to home birth. When I asked her if it was hard to constantly hear about the risks of home birth from people who didn’t know her, her medical history, or the fact that epidurals and c-sections do not have to be the norm; she said it was. Despite being a first time mom, she feels like she can use her birth as both a platform to spread the home birth love, but also show that there are alternatives to the perceived norm.

The mother wanted to remain anonymous when I asked if I could blog about our conversation, and my witnessing of the verbal bullying really got me thinking as to how important it is for your babies health, the mothers psyche, and the overall well being of a family to surround themselves with passionate, informed and like minded people.

If you are pregnant, and want to think outside of the mainstream perception of a fantastic birth, seek support. Facebook can be a tremendous resource for this, or find your nearest Babywearing Group, Attachment Parenting International Chapter, and they can steer you towards supportive  parents in your community.




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About the author

Xza Louise Higgins is the founder of MommyCon, creator of The Mommy Dialogues, and punk rock mom to two year old Atticus in the great city of Chicago, IL. She is incredibly passionate about birth options, human rights, and promoting gentle parenting practices.

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