I want me to love me: being confident in a bikini

As women our bodies are constantly under scrutiny. Our friends comment, our peers stare and more concerningly we are giving our own bodies the middle finger. I’m not saying every woman hates their body, but I am saying that a large majority of the population does. The waif will never be curvy enough and the size 12 will never be thin enough. Ask any woman what her imperfections are and she will rattle off a list a mile long. When you embark on the journey of motherhood, body issues flair up 10 fold. You spent the better portion of your teen years and early 20s adjusting to your body and now you have a tenant who won’t be leaving for 9 months.

He is growing inside you and your body has to grow to accommodate him. Some mom’s fair pregnancy without a stretch mark, others earn their stripes. Your breasts may never be the same perky C’s that you had in college and your hips may never squeeze into a size 5 the way they did 10 months ago, but our babies are worth it. You created something no man can do, you created a child inside the perfect home that is your body.

So how does one embrace their post-baby body? A better question might be, how does one flaunt their mommy body on the beach? With temperatures in the 90s and above, you probably don’t want to be covering up, but how do you stay cool, comfortable and confident in the sun?

It takes a lot for women of any age to feel confident on the beach, but now that you have hips as wide as Texas and breasts that hang down to your knees, you probably aren’t feeling beach ready. I have heard my fair share of moms tell me, that I could not relate to their body insecurities since I’m a size 2, but the reality is, we all have insecurities.  When I’m feeling down or fat, or just downright unattractive, I try to keep three things in mind.

1. There will always be someone bigger than you. Whether you are 102 lbs or 302 lbs there will always be someone bigger than you on the beach and guess what? They garnered the confidence to hang out on the beach, you can too! Still feel like a whale in a sea of little fishes? Jump in that water, you will feel 10x lighter. Water is healing, soothing and gives your body a weightless quality.

2. Wear something that is figure flattering. There is no need to hide your stripes, but if you feel more confident in a one piece than a two piece, that is fine! I personally wear vintage 50s bikini’s, because they are high waisted and fit my hourglass body really well.   Here are some of my favorite mom-friendly swim suits that you can view (and even purchase) by clicking the photos.


3.  No one is really staring at your cellulite. I promise. Chances are Brad the lifeguard is too distracted by Brenda and the other women on the beach are just as self-conscious as you. Embrace the sun, sand and water and enjoy your day. The most beautiful thing about a woman is confidence and no matter what your weight or size, when you project confidence, you will look and feel thinner.



About the author

Xza Louise Higgins is the founder of MommyCon, creator of The Mommy Dialogues, and punk rock mom to two year old Atticus in the great city of Chicago, IL. She is incredibly passionate about birth options, human rights, and promoting gentle parenting practices.

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