The (continued) battle to breastfeed

I’ve been waiting for the magic sparkly moment when I could say that I am successfully breastfeeding both of my children.

I have transitioned Clara to primarily breastfeeding. She is nursing really well and will take a bottle really well too. I refused to give her a bottle for a little over a day – breast only – and while that meant that she was grouchy and had I work for her food, it also meant something important to me.

We could do this.

Cormac has been somewhat more difficult to nurse, but it gets better all the time. He has a lip tie and it occurred to me that it might be interfering with his ability to maintain a latch. I made an appointment with a lactation consultant (actually I joined a support group of breastfeeding moms for the morning) in Albuquerque and planned on getting a little feedback and weighing my kiddos. Cormac’s upper lip, where the tie is, flanges out nicely. But he tucks his lower lip under. So now when he latches I check that lower lip and pull his chin down if it needs corrected. It’s already loads better. When he nurses he does a more thorough job now.

It was great to see other nursing moms and to hear their praise when they heard that I was still nursing my twins. It’s hard work. I am constantly thankful that my husband is so supportive. I am thankful for that month of NICU milk in the freezer. I’m not producing quite enough milk, so we supplement with frozen occasionally, but we will make it to 6 months. I’m drinking mother’s milk tea and increasing my pumping sessions to try and boost my output. I don’t nurse Cormac for most of his feedings, but we are getting closer all the time.

So I realized that I’ve been waiting for the magical sparkly moment when I could say that I’m successfully nursing twins. And then it hit me, in a room full of nursing moms.

I am.

I pump, I nurse, I supplement with frozen milk. I struggle. But this is working. They are four months and one week old and I’m still breastfeeding. I am successful. We are successful. I can’t tell you how good this makes me feel.

You can read part of our journey here. I am proud to say that I have weaned both babies off the nipple shields. Now, if I offer them a bottle they are welcome to it, but if I offer the breast, they cannot have a bottle. Clara really gets irritated with me sometimes, but I do not want to condition her to think that she can choose the delivery method of her dinner. It comes from one place. Wherever mom says. 😉


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  1. Geneva -  March 2, 2012 - 2:58 pm


    Seriously crying happy tears over here, Jessica. Truly.

    You deserve this! <3!!

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