“Your child has lice”
Recently I got a phone call with these very words from SquishyKid #1 and 2’s school….the words sent me into a cleaning and itching tizzy that had me contemplating shaving my own head (even though I knew it was psychosomatic) and wanting to throw out every.single.thing in the house. The strangest thing happens when anyone hears the word “lice”…they immediately start itching their head. In fact I can almost guarantee that those who’ve had lice before (and even a lot that haven’t), are itching their head right now just thinking about. HA caught ya! 😛
It started with SquishyKid #1 being infested by his locker mate…we tried everything…old wives tales, new wives tales, natural remedies and chemical over the counter pesticide…you name it to get rid of those little pests, none of which worked. I washed the blankets so many times I am surprised they didn’t fall apart. I threw out and bought all new pillows, bagged the stuffed animals and sprayed the beds and carpet and couch down with lice killing spray and then vacuumed them until my arms felt like they were going to fall off. Finally I’d had enough and shaved his head…the lice were gone. Or so we thought…..
About a week later SquishyKid #2 starts itching his head. “Shit shit shit” was all that was running through my head. I checked his hair…and sure enough…nits everywhere. FML! This time I didn’t even want to deal with it so we shaved his head, did the washing and cleaning routine and prayed to his noodley goodness the FSM that we were done with this nightmare. Little did I know what was brewing in The Girls beautiful curls.
Another 7 days go by and The Girl is now itching her head like a mad women….not again. Looked in her hair, and once again nits everywhere. What the hell am I going to do now? And what the crap am I doing wrong that I cant get rid of these things? I cant very well shave her head, and all the other stuff didn’t work with the boys so why would it work with her? Despite my better judgment I spent the next couple weeks doing everything in my power to get rid of these things at home. I spent hours combing her hair and hand picking out nits with the lice comb…which believe me is definitely not a bonding experience…there was tears and screaming on both sides. After 2 weeks of constant washing, daily combing, and endless tries at different treatments I finally resigned myself to take her to the Dr and get the good stuff.
Naturally I had to google “prescription lice treatments” before I took her in, just so that I was going in with all the information out there. During my search I came across this new drug called Natroba that was approved by the FDA last year for the treatment of lice and released onto the market in Jan. It has a 96% success rate (every other RX is 75% and rit/nix whatever only has a 40% success rate) and you don’t have to spend hours combing out the nits…they never hatch and literally fall off after a few days. The active ingredient Spinosad is also what is used in oral flea treatment for dogs and in pesticides for crops. It is the first ever fermentation-derived compound which was found in 1982 in an abandoned rum distillery. It is created from a naturally occurring soil dwelling microorganism called Saccharopolyspora spinosa….making it an insecticide that combines the efficacy of a synthetic insecticide, with the benefits of a biological pest control organism. How freaking cool is that? How it works is even cooler…..basically the bugs ingest the Spinosad and literally shake themselves to death. Right on!
So long story short, I take her to the Dr to get this magical stuff that is going to rid me of these pests that have been plaguing my life for over a month. The Dr looks at her hair, confirms the lice and then laughs when I tell him NOTHING has worked. “Of course” he says “the lice in this area are completely resistant to the over the counter treatments.”….um what? You mean to tell me I spent hundreds of dollars on treatments that never had a chance of working? Fantastic! “Give me Natroba Doc”. This is when I get to school the Dr when he responds with “What is Natroba?”. Script in hand I skip off to Walgreens knowing that these lice are about to become my bitches. $160 per bottle later (that’s WITH insurance….$218 without, and BELIEVE me it’s worth every penny) we are completely and totally lice free.
Ode to Natroba
Oh Natroba how I love thee thrice
You came and got rid of the horrible horrible lice
You stunk pretty bad
But that didn’t make me sad
Because the lice went away
and now it’s a happy day!
I am not a poet and I know it bwahhahaha